My life has changed exponentially in the past few months since my guy moved in here with me. It is so nice to have another person here with me. For a long time, I lived in this big 4 bedroom house by myself with my dog Jasper. This is the house that my father grew up in and I lived here with my grandmother until she passed from this plane of existence 2 years ago. The house was willed to my father, but since I already live here and he and my mother live several hours away, the house was placed in my name. If I ever decide to move away from the city, it will transfer back to pop. So, my life has changed, not only because I have access to him whenever I want, but because of the amount of work it takes to keep a house clean with another person in it. My guy, I learned very quickly, is messy. I come home from work in the morning to survey the damage. This morning, it looked like an F4 rolled through here during the night. For those of you who do not live in the Midwest Tornado alley, tornados are measured using the Fujita Scale and are placed in categories from F0 through F5 based on their damage path. So, based on his damage path, I estimated him at an F4. Ha ha ha!! If you read my previous blog entry, I mentioned that we attend a weekly family dinner at his parent's house on Sunday. This past Sunday, I asked his sister if he was messy when he was still living at home. She just smiled and said, "I wish you the best of luck". Oh boy...
For those of you who are reading this (is anyone reading?), you will agree that our Middle Eastern guys are not the best housekeepers. Really, that is a total understatement. I have not seen him clean anything but the grill to cook since he has been here. It is a small price to pay to have my very handsome and sexy guy here with me. I actually don't mind cleaning, as it helps satisfy my CDO. I know that it should be OCD, but that is not in alphabetical order. Yes, I have it bad! I have been known to sweep and mop all the floors at least 3 times a day and when I am bored, I will take all the dishes out of the cabinets and wash them again. I know having a very clean house sounds nice, but it can be a curse too. He has made me stop cleaning at times because I become so obsessed with it. His mother once asked him if I keep a nice clean home for him, and he told her that often he has to stop me from cleaning. I think that made her happy.
A good friend of mine has mentioned several times that his Persian husband calls their home a nest. My guy has never called it a nest. He does occasionally refer to himself as a lion and I am his cub. So, does that make our place a den? I don't know what he considers our residence. All I know is that I work very hard to make this the most comfortable place for him to live that I can. I am sure that he would love it if I stayed home every day to cook and clean, but he does respect my job. I work the night shift, which means that several nights a week he is here alone, of which he is not fond. I think it is only possible because he is friends with a few doctors I work with and they are around to check on me from time to time.
Last night was a good night at work for me. I was recovering a patient who had open heart surgery. He was fairly young and healthy, so his recovery will go well. I recently finished my Master's Degree in Nursing and I am now a Clinical Nurse Specialist. It is a research based degree. I have started taking courses for a Doctorate Degree. My ultimate goal is to become a researcher. My guy is a doctor and works in the research and development department for a major drug manufacturer. I would love to work with him and develop new medications to help people. Wouldn't that be awesome? To work with him side by side to develop medications to save people's lives would be the best! Even though I have my Graduate degree, I am still working at the bedside taking care of patients. I could do so much more right now, but I love the direct patient care so much it would be difficult for me to leave.
I'm getting tired, so I am rambling. I think this is enough for now. I have many topics I could discuss. If anyone is interested, I will gladly share. Happy Wednesday to everyone!!!
Yes! to my guy, cleaning is right up there with putting on a dress on his list of priorities. We have had some discussions about it and he has offered to bring in a cleaning person once a week to help out, but then to me it's a point of pride that I can take care of him plus I don't want some stranger poking around our stuff.
ReplyDeleteTo me it's part of the closeness. He trusts that I am going to pick up after him, take care of his clothes, have his suits ready for his work week. I make the bag and he takes it to the cleaners and picks it up. Now we have that service in our building so it helps. On the other hand, when I'm sick, he will carry me around like a baby and has no problems taking care of my bodily needs. It's a give and take. But I can't imagine working full time and taking care of the home like that. He is learning to depend on you. You're his relaxation person that makes a nice home to come home to. :)
You should share your blog on google plus so followers see when you update. :)
We take care of our guys, that's for sure. Doesn't it feel good when you make him happy? I know it does me. The thought of a cleaning person is a big no for me. I would probably follow behind them and reclean to my specifications anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how to share this on Google Plus. I'll have to figure that out.
I have been reading... ;)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't consulted when Zahir hired "our" housekeeper. I think it was the fact I am a cleaner but I suck in the kitchen. He made it clear, I am to put my education first. He hired the housekeeper after I got my first bad (78%) mark EVER.
Working with a partner can be tricky. I only intern with Zahir for a half day 3 times a week. It is difficult to switch into the "professional" at work roll. Maybe that is due to my age, I don't know.It is on occasion hot calling him Sir and Mister in the office.
I once teased him about his lack of ability hitting the laundry basket. I asked if he was THAT inaccurate at hitting targets in the Air Force. He did not laugh.
Going to Wadi Rum next week for the family hunt. My job is to watch after Baba (his dad/my adopted dad).
A family hunt? Interesting. I don't know where Wadi Rum is, but I'll look it up.
DeleteI already had my career when we got together, so he respects my job. I was alone for a while after my last guy left and went back to the Kingdom. My current guy is one of his friends and I am in a much better place now. He has never said it specifically, but I have a feeling that he doesn't like my long night shift hours away from him. I have been considering changing shifts, so that I will be home at night when he is there.
Be safe on your trip and have fun :)
It is their way of honoring their Bedouin heritage. Hunting with hawks, falcons and salukis (Persian greyhounds).
DeleteWadi Rum is in southern Jordan. Thanks to the Matt Damon film "The Martian" it is becoming even more popular to visit.
This year we are going early for a wedding. Baba is giving the groom a truck to help move his flock. Those in the tribe who have been blessed, are obligated to share that blessing. I am still learning what that fully means.
That sounds really awesome. I looked up Wadi Rum. It seems a place I would really like to visit. Unfortunately, I will probably never get to visit Sajid's ancestral home. He is from Saudi Arabia and they would not accept us at all. The Saudis are so strict and unaccepting of homosexual relationships that we would do well to avoid the Kingdom all together. At least here in the US or in South Africa where I was born, we are accepted and we can live without persecution. I am envious that you get to experience those things.
DeleteWhile Jordan has "decriminalized" homosexuality the cultural stigma remains. In addition there are a myriad of other laws you can be charged with.
DeleteZahir explained the fine line we must walk in the name of safety. Baba adopting me is PART of that protection. Still the concept of Saudi's religious police would frighten me too. (says the boy who went into western Iran...)
The Jordanian model Khalid Abdel-Hadi is one of my heroes. I was ten seconds from meeting him when Zahir whisked me away. When Khalid founded "My Kali" (an LGBT magazine) in Amman, he was publicly outed and slandered by the media. The death threats he received were real. His family was publicly disgraced, people would not do business with them.
What happens in your home is your business, and the neighbors have deniability. The second it is known the knives (as it were) come out.
But as this week in my life has proved the U.S. is not much better in some ways protecting gay kids. It is looking like I may be back in the States in late October so I can try to block my foster dad's appeal. This world sucks but I am done being afraid!
I'm sure I'm not alone and wanting to hear from you. I hope all is going well with your doctoral program.
ReplyDelete